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Are You Listening? The Body Tells the Truth

My Dear Community,

I’m bombarded lately with late night calls, emails, and texts from people bereaved by sudden death. Shootings and suicides cover the landscape.

No good-bye. No warning. A child falls and dies within hours. What do you do when besieged once again by depression that feels like a bonfire? Where do you go? Who do you turn to when in the midst of searing pain? Do you take yourself out of this tortuous life?

I’m trained to stay present in my body and to my breath. Then I can be the person who comforts.

It’s been a long journey learning the techniques for how to stay grounded and listen to my body. Recently, Professor Stanley Krippner asked if he could detail parts of my journey in his new book on suicide.

Here’s an excerpt I’ve submitted to him and sharing with you as a sneak preview:

The Body Tells the Truth

When thrust into the state of Raw Grief because of death by suicide, the ground beneath us is shattered. The suicide survivor struggles to right their world which has been turned upside down. For a while they are joined by others also devastated by this loss. Gradually, those others return to work and their lives, caring for their own family. They may be aware, but not tortured by the “if only” and “why” that loops around in the minds of those most deeply demolished by this death.

Georgena was one of those with a ‘mean mind.’ The critical, perfectionistic mind that relentlessly sets the bar so high that nothing is ever good enough. The ‘list’ is never done. The real world falls short of what one imagines.

Reed too had been so critical of himself in the end. He was much harder on himself than anyone else. Four months after his death, Georgena realized that Reed had never failed publicly. She knew that this suspension from school and being banished from the basketball team were a gateway for his growth.

Unfortunately, Reed did not see his failure as a step to growth. For the first time in his life he had ‘lost face.’ Instead of asking for help, he took himself out of the game of life permanently and literally lost face. Georgena became aware that “being too hard on yourself can kill ya’.” She knew those around her could not have her die. She knew that the only way through grief was to go in. Into grief – to uncover her false beliefs and into her body.

The Rubenfeld Synergy Method ® allowed Georgena to move out of her constantly confused, critical mind to access the guidance of her body. She would simply lie on the table and the Synergist asked, “Where are you connecting to the table?” Georgena began noticing one hip or shoulder felt ‘up in the air.’ This was the perfect metaphor for her life.

At times her left shoulder, later dubbed her ’Grief Shoulder,’ would burst into a flame of pain the minute it contacted the table. With the Synergist’s hands creating a protective ‘cup’ of listening touch, Georgena was able to relate to the pain in her shoulder. She began to experience that recognizing, and then relating to the aches, pains and sensations, would consistently result in releasing them.

Sometimes she would see images that could be ’felt’ in her body. Once a rock wall split in two releasing the shoulder pain then became a beautiful, soothing waterfall. She felt revitalized. Her body, mind, emotions, and spirit became regenerated in real time.

Georgena discovered her own system of moving through grief:

  • Recognize, relate to, and release grief to experience revitalization and regeneration.

After a while, Georgena learned to show up for a Synergy session and let go without “trying to figure things out.” She became willing, open, and curious. She discovered, allowed, accepted, and received the gifts of this powerful body-mind process. Her frontal lobe quieted, and her limbic brain became activated. As her awareness and intuition increased, she began to access what Jung calls “The Collective Unconscious.”

Georgena’s personal Synergy session with Ilana revealed a palpable anchor in Georgena’s body. As Ilana cupped her hands around Georgena’s right knee she asked, “What are you noticing?” Clouds filled the chalkboard of Georgena’s mind. Her breathing changed.

Ilana, guided by this cue, simply stated, “Tell me more.” Georgena went on to describe the clouds parting and a gorgeous purple mountain with a granite base emerged. She felt she was on solid ground for the first time in 10 months.

Where had this empowering image come from?  Arising from the Synergy table, Georgena’s life was anchored in the phrase “I am beautiful.” Four years later, after moving from Nebraska to Oregon, she recognized this sacred image as Mt. Hood.

Georgena now shares the benefits of the Rubenfeld Synergy Method® with her clients:

  • Even when your mind lies and jerks you around, the body tells the Truth.
  • The sensations, aches, and pains in your body are a call to listen and learn from the metaphors in your body – Who or What is that pain in your neck?
  • Experience the images, colors, sounds, and messages as guidance.
  • You can’t fail. You can’t make things up. You are accessing the Infinite that’s always there to support you.
  • Touch is a powerful means of recognizing, relating to, and releasing emotions.
  • Shift happens in the present moment.
  • Humor gives us psychological air. Just like a dolphin we come up to the surface and then dive deep back into our emotions.

So how are you relating to your body and its messages today?

Is it telling you the Truth? Listen.

Go to to find out why it works.

Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,


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Synergy Touch Relieves Fear!

We are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of a loud noise.

So, where did all the fears come from that we carry now? A number one fear of adults is public speaking. Why is that?

Some of my clients have shared early school experiences of being laughed at when speaking up in the classroom.  Many have related that they weren’t able to have a voice in their own home. Others were constantly being corrected by authority figures when they did speak. Some do not feel heard in their current relationships and often quit trying to communicate. These are just a few examples that led them to the fear of speaking in public.

Regardless of our age, when we experience impactful, hurtful, shocking and painful experiences, whether large or small, our body responds in a protective way. The brain directs us to go into flight or fight. We either withdraw and run away or become more aggressive physically or verbally. We often become speechless because the logical part of us leaves and the emotions take over.  These experiences accumulate over time, sometimes years. Our bodies hold on to these memories until we change the pattern.

One of the best ways to change the habitual, unhealthy pattern is to seek out a form of touch therapy. Touch is a viable/powerful form of communication that we experience long before we learn to talk. It reconnects the logic with the emotional. When our stomach aches, one of the first things we do is try to create comfort by placing our hands on it.

As one of my clients said, “It is one thing to talk about my fears or anxieties, but with the additional use of touch, I can actually feel my body’s response. I understand what is really happening so much faster!”

The simultaneous use of listening touch and verbal dialogue in the Rubenfeld Synergy Method does allow client sessions to be unique and powerful.  There is no template that is followed.  It is the use of intuition, being in the moment with the client, listening, and allowing the body to speak!

In some forms of bodywork, the goal is to break down the client’s armour. As a Synergist, my approach is to “melt” it with my open hands in listening touch. My purpose is to communicate patience, caring, and a willingness to wait for the client to initiate the change process.

It may sound rather strange, but our body is communicating to us all the time. It loves it when we pay attention to it, especially when it is hurting, or we are in fear.

This is not a radical approach to therapy.  In fact, when clients comment that it looks and seems “simple” it’s because it is so natural. It respects the wholeness of the client as having thoughts, emotions and somatic experiences – and having the will to explore, expand, and express oneself through these avenues.


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