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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. –Dr. Seuss

Thanks Dr. Seuss.  Yes, I can steer myself in any direction I choose.  I have just completed my four year training program in the Rubenfeld Synergy Method® and celebrated my GRADUATION with much pomp and circumstance.

Learning this work was indeed very challenging for me; I really had to overcome some serious obstacles to feel and own my competence as a Synergist.  The truth is I had never felt competent at anything in life.  Sure, there had been some accomplishments.  But I never really owned any of them or thought that they were any kind of big deal.  I graduated college with a double major in biology and psychology. No big deal.  I got a multiple subjects teaching credential in the state of California.  No big deal.  I landed jobs where I was valued and loved and had opportunities to shine.  No big deal.  I never felt accomplished in any way whatsoever.

But somehow, in the magical unfolding of timing, my time is now.  Now is the time for me to claim some degree of competence and own the fact that I have acquired some skills to do this work.  For those that don’t know me very well, I must emphasize that I have had a very slippery relationship with success in my life.  No matter what I did, I just never felt good enough.  I would always focus on the things that went wrong.  The mistakes I made. The people I disappointed.  The things that were not getting done.

Many many years ago, something really important happened on my very slow journey toward competence.  It was truly a turning point in forgiving myself for all the fuck-ups.  I had a boyfriend at the time that began performing a ritual when I was being really hard on myself.  He would wrap me up in a blanket.  Literally wrap me up, “like a papoose” he would call it.  At first I resisted, thinking that it was all so silly.  But the more he persisted in wrapping me up each and every time I had a bad day, the more my system started to relax into the experience of it.  And something quite mysterious began to happen.  Very slowly, I started to consider what it might be like to be on my own side.  I mean, the world would beat me up in small ways, but the huge beatings came largely from myself.  The papoose slowed things down to such an extent that it seemed to quiet the lashings.  I have no idea how or why this worked.  I am amazed to this day at the intuitive knowing that this boyfriend had and consistently acted upon.  (And I’ve got to admit, there were not many other examples of intuition going on in the relationship.)

Gratitude.  For him in my life.  Gratitude for my new path in life.  Gratitude at being a fully certified Rubenfeld Synergist.  And as the parade of life marches on and I am entering into this new phase of my career as a Synergist, the transition is bringing up some of the old feelings of incompetence, and some new ‘friends’ lethargy and inertia. There had been such a big push to finish the program and celebrate my accomplishment.  And celebrate I did.  And then, silence.  Quiet melancholy.  It’s all me now.  I’m all schooled up.  The rest of the Dr. Seuss quote goes like this:  “You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”

Yes, I know what I know.  I know that it is probably time to wrap myself up in a blanket.  And again, remind myself to be on my side.  Remember to be gentle with myself at this major transition in my life.  Thank you beautiful life.

What do you need to help you consistently be on your own side?  Listen carefully.  The answer will take you far, oh the places you’ll go!

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It’s time. To live life to the fullest.


Life is like the flow of a river, filled with twists and turns, ups and downs.  There’s the calm, steady flow and the wild rapids.

One minute we’re on top of the world and the next minute we just want to crawl under our duvet and never come out again. Then there is everything in between.

Challenges arise along the way and sometimes we might feel stuck with no way out. If there is a blockage in any area of life, it is exhausting.

The reason is that it takes a lot of energy to stop things or to hold them. This stuck energy can manifest as physical, emotional or intellectual exhaustion. It can be subconscious but we feel and often see the results. Many of us spend time looking outside ourselves for the answers to life’s challenges, in truth everything we need is within us. Our body in constant communication with us, sending messages, and like a child having a temper tantrum, it will get louder and louder until we give it our attention.

The good news is that there is always a way through the hard places. It’s not about changing who you are, it’s about understanding who you are.

And it begins by becoming aware of our current state. This awareness allows us to understand when and why and how we feel the way we do, so we can work with our body and emotions, not against them.

By embodying our emotions in the moment we can empower our life.  When we begin to tune into our body, listen to its signals and choose how we react, our life changes and we can begin living a life we choose. A life we love. We choose who and how we want to show up in the world.  The power is in our awareness. The awareness is our choice.

Are you fully living the life you want to live? Being who you want to be? If not, you could start now. Follow these simple steps and begin to tune in:

Take 3- 5 minutes for yourself in a quiet place and do the following exercise:

Find a position that is comfortable for you, sitting, standing, walking or lying down.

  • Take a deep breath in.
  • Rub your hands together and tune into the sensation. Are they cold? Hot? Dry? Sweaty? Soft? Hard?
  • How do your hands feel? Tender? Tentative? Confidant? Loving? Angry?
  • Explore your hands, feel your fingers.
  • Notice what you are aware of in yourself as you tune into your sense of touch. There is no right or wrong, good or bad…. simply say hello to what’s there for you right now.
  • Now that we are aware of our hands, we can use them to connect with other parts of our body and begin tuning in, and listening to what are body is telling us.

If you enjoyed this brief introduction, please check out The Power of Touch online course or be in touch for one on one sessions.