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Are You Listening? The Body Tells the Truth

My Dear Community,

I’m bombarded lately with late night calls, emails, and texts from people bereaved by sudden death. Shootings and suicides cover the landscape.

No good-bye. No warning. A child falls and dies within hours. What do you do when besieged once again by depression that feels like a bonfire? Where do you go? Who do you turn to when in the midst of searing pain? Do you take yourself out of this tortuous life?

I’m trained to stay present in my body and to my breath. Then I can be the person who comforts.

It’s been a long journey learning the techniques for how to stay grounded and listen to my body. Recently, Professor Stanley Krippner asked if he could detail parts of my journey in his new book on suicide.

Here’s an excerpt I’ve submitted to him and sharing with you as a sneak preview:

The Body Tells the Truth

When thrust into the state of Raw Grief because of death by suicide, the ground beneath us is shattered. The suicide survivor struggles to right their world which has been turned upside down. For a while they are joined by others also devastated by this loss. Gradually, those others return to work and their lives, caring for their own family. They may be aware, but not tortured by the “if only” and “why” that loops around in the minds of those most deeply demolished by this death.

Georgena was one of those with a ‘mean mind.’ The critical, perfectionistic mind that relentlessly sets the bar so high that nothing is ever good enough. The ‘list’ is never done. The real world falls short of what one imagines.

Reed too had been so critical of himself in the end. He was much harder on himself than anyone else. Four months after his death, Georgena realized that Reed had never failed publicly. She knew that this suspension from school and being banished from the basketball team were a gateway for his growth.

Unfortunately, Reed did not see his failure as a step to growth. For the first time in his life he had ‘lost face.’ Instead of asking for help, he took himself out of the game of life permanently and literally lost face. Georgena became aware that “being too hard on yourself can kill ya’.” She knew those around her could not have her die. She knew that the only way through grief was to go in. Into grief – to uncover her false beliefs and into her body.

The Rubenfeld Synergy Method ® allowed Georgena to move out of her constantly confused, critical mind to access the guidance of her body. She would simply lie on the table and the Synergist asked, “Where are you connecting to the table?” Georgena began noticing one hip or shoulder felt ‘up in the air.’ This was the perfect metaphor for her life.

At times her left shoulder, later dubbed her ’Grief Shoulder,’ would burst into a flame of pain the minute it contacted the table. With the Synergist’s hands creating a protective ‘cup’ of listening touch, Georgena was able to relate to the pain in her shoulder. She began to experience that recognizing, and then relating to the aches, pains and sensations, would consistently result in releasing them.

Sometimes she would see images that could be ’felt’ in her body. Once a rock wall split in two releasing the shoulder pain then became a beautiful, soothing waterfall. She felt revitalized. Her body, mind, emotions, and spirit became regenerated in real time.

Georgena discovered her own system of moving through grief:

  • Recognize, relate to, and release grief to experience revitalization and regeneration.

After a while, Georgena learned to show up for a Synergy session and let go without “trying to figure things out.” She became willing, open, and curious. She discovered, allowed, accepted, and received the gifts of this powerful body-mind process. Her frontal lobe quieted, and her limbic brain became activated. As her awareness and intuition increased, she began to access what Jung calls “The Collective Unconscious.”

Georgena’s personal Synergy session with Ilana revealed a palpable anchor in Georgena’s body. As Ilana cupped her hands around Georgena’s right knee she asked, “What are you noticing?” Clouds filled the chalkboard of Georgena’s mind. Her breathing changed.

Ilana, guided by this cue, simply stated, “Tell me more.” Georgena went on to describe the clouds parting and a gorgeous purple mountain with a granite base emerged. She felt she was on solid ground for the first time in 10 months.

Where had this empowering image come from?  Arising from the Synergy table, Georgena’s life was anchored in the phrase “I am beautiful.” Four years later, after moving from Nebraska to Oregon, she recognized this sacred image as Mt. Hood.

Georgena now shares the benefits of the Rubenfeld Synergy Method® with her clients:

  • Even when your mind lies and jerks you around, the body tells the Truth.
  • The sensations, aches, and pains in your body are a call to listen and learn from the metaphors in your body – Who or What is that pain in your neck?
  • Experience the images, colors, sounds, and messages as guidance.
  • You can’t fail. You can’t make things up. You are accessing the Infinite that’s always there to support you.
  • Touch is a powerful means of recognizing, relating to, and releasing emotions.
  • Shift happens in the present moment.
  • Humor gives us psychological air. Just like a dolphin we come up to the surface and then dive deep back into our emotions.

So how are you relating to your body and its messages today?

Is it telling you the Truth? Listen.

Go to www.rubenfeldsynergy.com to find out why it works.

Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,

Georgena

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Graduation

new-journey

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. –Dr. Seuss

Thanks Dr. Seuss.  Yes, I can steer myself in any direction I choose.  I have just completed my four year training program in the Rubenfeld Synergy Method® and celebrated my GRADUATION with much pomp and circumstance.

Learning this work was indeed very challenging for me; I really had to overcome some serious obstacles to feel and own my competence as a Synergist.  The truth is I had never felt competent at anything in life.  Sure, there had been some accomplishments.  But I never really owned any of them or thought that they were any kind of big deal.  I graduated college with a double major in biology and psychology. No big deal.  I got a multiple subjects teaching credential in the state of California.  No big deal.  I landed jobs where I was valued and loved and had opportunities to shine.  No big deal.  I never felt accomplished in any way whatsoever.

But somehow, in the magical unfolding of timing, my time is now.  Now is the time for me to claim some degree of competence and own the fact that I have acquired some skills to do this work.  For those that don’t know me very well, I must emphasize that I have had a very slippery relationship with success in my life.  No matter what I did, I just never felt good enough.  I would always focus on the things that went wrong.  The mistakes I made. The people I disappointed.  The things that were not getting done.

Many many years ago, something really important happened on my very slow journey toward competence.  It was truly a turning point in forgiving myself for all the fuck-ups.  I had a boyfriend at the time that began performing a ritual when I was being really hard on myself.  He would wrap me up in a blanket.  Literally wrap me up, “like a papoose” he would call it.  At first I resisted, thinking that it was all so silly.  But the more he persisted in wrapping me up each and every time I had a bad day, the more my system started to relax into the experience of it.  And something quite mysterious began to happen.  Very slowly, I started to consider what it might be like to be on my own side.  I mean, the world would beat me up in small ways, but the huge beatings came largely from myself.  The papoose slowed things down to such an extent that it seemed to quiet the lashings.  I have no idea how or why this worked.  I am amazed to this day at the intuitive knowing that this boyfriend had and consistently acted upon.  (And I’ve got to admit, there were not many other examples of intuition going on in the relationship.)

Gratitude.  For him in my life.  Gratitude for my new path in life.  Gratitude at being a fully certified Rubenfeld Synergist.  And as the parade of life marches on and I am entering into this new phase of my career as a Synergist, the transition is bringing up some of the old feelings of incompetence, and some new ‘friends’ lethargy and inertia. There had been such a big push to finish the program and celebrate my accomplishment.  And celebrate I did.  And then, silence.  Quiet melancholy.  It’s all me now.  I’m all schooled up.  The rest of the Dr. Seuss quote goes like this:  “You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”

Yes, I know what I know.  I know that it is probably time to wrap myself up in a blanket.  And again, remind myself to be on my side.  Remember to be gentle with myself at this major transition in my life.  Thank you beautiful life.

What do you need to help you consistently be on your own side?  Listen carefully.  The answer will take you far, oh the places you’ll go!

 

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It’s time. To live life to the fullest.

Love-Life

Life is like the flow of a river, filled with twists and turns, ups and downs.  There’s the calm, steady flow and the wild rapids.

One minute we’re on top of the world and the next minute we just want to crawl under our duvet and never come out again. Then there is everything in between.

Challenges arise along the way and sometimes we might feel stuck with no way out. If there is a blockage in any area of life, it is exhausting.

The reason is that it takes a lot of energy to stop things or to hold them. This stuck energy can manifest as physical, emotional or intellectual exhaustion. It can be subconscious but we feel and often see the results. Many of us spend time looking outside ourselves for the answers to life’s challenges, in truth everything we need is within us. Our body in constant communication with us, sending messages, and like a child having a temper tantrum, it will get louder and louder until we give it our attention.

The good news is that there is always a way through the hard places. It’s not about changing who you are, it’s about understanding who you are.

And it begins by becoming aware of our current state. This awareness allows us to understand when and why and how we feel the way we do, so we can work with our body and emotions, not against them.

By embodying our emotions in the moment we can empower our life.  When we begin to tune into our body, listen to its signals and choose how we react, our life changes and we can begin living a life we choose. A life we love. We choose who and how we want to show up in the world.  The power is in our awareness. The awareness is our choice.

Are you fully living the life you want to live? Being who you want to be? If not, you could start now. Follow these simple steps and begin to tune in:

Take 3- 5 minutes for yourself in a quiet place and do the following exercise:

Find a position that is comfortable for you, sitting, standing, walking or lying down.

  • Take a deep breath in.
  • Rub your hands together and tune into the sensation. Are they cold? Hot? Dry? Sweaty? Soft? Hard?
  • How do your hands feel? Tender? Tentative? Confidant? Loving? Angry?
  • Explore your hands, feel your fingers.
  • Notice what you are aware of in yourself as you tune into your sense of touch. There is no right or wrong, good or bad…. simply say hello to what’s there for you right now.
  • Now that we are aware of our hands, we can use them to connect with other parts of our body and begin tuning in, and listening to what are body is telling us.

If you enjoyed this brief introduction, please check out The Power of Touch online course or be in touch for one on one sessions.

 

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